The greatest Harm in the world is when Anger, Resentment, Grief and other deep vibrational emotions are held on to past the time of letting go. None of these emotions are negative and all of them are important to experience. There are times when they are held on to for far too long and our focus becomes skewed outside of ourselves. Our energy drains away from us, our bodies become toxic and dis-ease becomes more prevalent.
Letting go of these feelings is hard to face when they have been so invested in and the desire to be proved right is so intense. The process of letting go can be longer than expected and confronting on a deeply personal level. Yet it is worth it, because Letting Go means that you reclaim your freedom to be YOU, focused on YOU and growing within YOU.
The best way I have been shown to Let Go is to find the Forgiveness within. To clarify when you Forgive someone or something you are not saying that you approve of the experience or that you were wrong to be upset… You are are saying Thank-you For Giving me the experience to learn more deeply about myself. Thank-you I have discovered what I need and am now letting Go and moving On with my Life. Forgiveness takes the power of the past away and empowers the present moment. It allows us to accept the people as they are with their own unique set of characteristics and behaviors. This allows us to choose what role they play in our lives and how we respond to each new experience.
Forgiveness can be a tough nut to crack and part of us does not want to travel this path, we can be quite familiar with these emotions and become almost tied to them even though they bring us down. So I believe the saying “Fake it till you make it!” applies here. By going through the motions of Forgiveness we can create thinking pathways that support forgiveness at a deeper level eventually.
The process I have used requires paper and pen initially and eventually a fire. Simply writing about the experience can create a cyclic effect where the problem is made bigger; instead use these simple words…
“I humbly forgive (myself, my husband, my Mum/Dad…)and Lovingly release the past”
If you write this repetitively you will get very annoyed (PO), so the suggestion by a teacher to me was to split the paper in half and write the forgiveness phrase on one side and write the words that were screaming out in my head, these might be swear words, degrading words/phrases etc. the idea is to voice how you are truly feeling. I found I needed to complete this exercise over 7 days, in each session writing the phrase 20 times, and responding after each writing of the phrase.
At the end of the process create a small ceremony, an offering of Love to the experiences that caused so much pain. Burn each piece of paper and allow it to leave the space from within you. At the end of the process there is a lifting of the emotions that have been trapped, a sensation of lightness and perhaps even tears allowing the flow of emotions once more.
This whole process I have repeated many times and have used on family members, friends, myself and others. It is powerful yet slow healing process that changes how you relate to others and the responsibility you take for your experience of emotions. It breaks the negative connections we may have with people and places and creates the space for new more positive connection to form. It is empowering and I am very grateful to those who have promoted and changed my understanding of what Forgiveness means.
There is nothing that is unforgivable. You do not need to ever have that person in your life, but it is not worth holding on to emotions that end up hurting you. The other person may exist without ever being affected by the way you are feeling and the only person who can change how you feel is you. I emphasize there are horrible/bad situations and experiences and they have a big affect on our lives; there are consequences and those consequences need to be valued, but holding on to the emotions affects only us and that compounds the Harm beyond what it needs to be.
I encourage you to give forgiveness a go and look to the freedom of experiencing all the dimensions of emotions without holding on to the past.
May you turn to the source within and may Forgiveness flow easily with the energy of Love.