Raising a Child to Adulthood…
I really never thought we would make it! The years seemed too hard and the outcome looked bleak. My child struggled to live, struggled in their own skin and it seemed that they would not reach adulthood. Yet even though scarce, the seeds of hope remained. Planted by family values, beliefs and spiritual connections. Through much meditation, planning, thinking, through new approaches, choosing the focuses that best suit a return to health and ignoring all the others. This which would go against every normal convention was needed and through my own spiritual development, the situation and the health of my child changed…slowly and with many peaks and troughs that were dark and bleak.
We have a child who is now 18. Excitement!!!! The age of adulthood. Articulate, smart,mature, self-aware, witty, funny, delightful and warm hearted. Anxiety still wreaks havoc, but the maturity and communication that has arisen means that difficult situations are handled and as long as there is an “out” this child/adult of ours is now able to do so much more. Driving licence, studying at school, travelling….dreaming of a future.
Everything achieved still comes at a cost. A cost to him, a cost to me and a cost to the family. Much still goes in to planning, deciphering the expectations, talking about possibilities and also venting when pain is experienced. It has taken almost a week to return to a normal pattern after celebrating his birthday with family and enjoying a meal with a small group of friends. I have not returned to any semblance of work as my main purpose is to see him through his education and support him in developing his independence without throwing him in the deep end.
So for all the parents out there who are struggling to find hope, who have no-one to reach out to, and see a future that is bleak, remember that anything is possible and that your child chose you for a reason. Within you there are the answers that are needed and with support you can find a way through and a future of greater hope. You can do what needs to be done. Blessings to you.