Saying “Sorry” what does it mean? It could mean:
- I’m not good enough
- I haven’t met the expectations of you or me
- I want to protect myself from your criticism and my own
- I know others can do it better…
- I am unworthy of success
- I can see all the inadequacies in my work
- I do not value my uniqueness
- I have hurt you without meaning to
- I have hurt you, knowingly, but unavoidably
- I have hurt you and been caught
- I have hurt me by hurting you
- I thought I was better than that …
(some of these stem from fear, some from responsibility, the Energy of Love)
Sorry is a weight, the energy of guilt, implying that we are less. By saying Sorry we expect the energy of guilt to be lifted, or shifted away from us. Often it is used to protect ourselves from the criticisms and hurtful words that we think may flow towards us as a result of our actions and words. This is not necessarily a truth. Often saying sorry invites criticism as those you apologize to believe that you want them to point out the mistakes and inadequacies, they even begin to look for them, you apologized so they must exist. Through this logic Sorry only serves to lower the energy of everyone involved and does not add any value.
I am not suggesting apologizing is not of value. When someone is harmed or hurt because of your actions, an expression of Sorry and a readiness to take responsibility for the words or actions that resulted in that are a forward step to healing and forgiveness, allowing both parties to begin the process of moving on. A great example of this is the public apology that the Australian Prime Minister made to the Aboriginal peoples of Australia. It was a first step, highly emotional and began the move towards forgiveness and unity of this country. It was a highly valuable first step but there are still many more steps involved for true healing to occur .
The other times I see Sorry as value adding is when a set explicit expectation is not met. A sorry in this situation may be of value, but probably more importantly there needs to be an explanation and the putting in place of strategies to ensure it doesn’t happen in the future. Here people are not necessarily hurt, that just need to know where they stand and what the next step is in rectifying the situation.
We need never apologize when we have done our very best, sort support, and produced something individual and truly unique. The need to say Sorry for being US is a huge mistake on our parts, as it only serves to devalue our very Being. Please, when you hear or see yourself apologizing check in to see whether an apology is required. If you say Sorry when it’s not required gently tap on the bone just below the hollow of your throat. This helps to change the habit of “apologizing for breathing!” As a result you will increase your vibrational energy and begin the steps towards valuing who you are, a little bit more, day by day. And then when you truly are sorry for hurting someone the apology is more genuine and heart felt. You begin to take responsibility for your actions. Remember…