“The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.” Eckhart Tolle
I have been reading a lot and listening to interviews at the Hay House World Summit 2017, particularly Anita Moorjani “Living Heaven on Earth in a Fear Based Culture”; Dr Christiane Northrup “Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Freedom” and Gregg Braden‘s video “The Science of Miracles”. From these wonderful people I have drawn some new understandings of what the Ego is, how it is formed and where we need to look to in the future as a collective. I have shared my understandings with a variety of people and they believe they are worthy of thought and deeper contemplation, so I shall share with you. The uniqueness may not be in the ideas I am sharing, but perhaps in how I am expressing them.
As a child there appears to be no Ego; there are needs that create demands for which the child will simply attempt to gain attention. The child expresses their emotions, their needs, their thoughts without a filter, simply their unique expression of who they are. They play, dress up, dance, sing, interact with an “imaginary world, they are creative and they are gifted.
The family, concerned for their welfare, begins early on the important role of modeling the child so that they can fit into society as a thriving, contributing, accepted member. This involves praise for what is deemed good and acceptable, and negative reinforcement of what is deemed bad and unacceptable. This does not need to be forceful, a raising of an eye-brow, a sigh, or a cold shoulder can be just as effective as a whack or a sending to the room.
The child’s unique expression wants only to be free to express, but is so bombarded by the daily lessons from parents, siblings, friends teachers, peers… that it learns to avoid the negatives by self regulating, creating the voice within to say NO don’t do it. This voice becomes loud to the child’s own ears and the child begins to conform. Through the years the lessons are reinforced through the success of conforming and the setbacks of striking out in unique untested ways. This can often take the form of tall poppy syndrome where friends and loved ones will try to make you conform by undermining your efforts to do things differently.
As a result of these years of training our Ego takes on the form of low energy and in spiritual circles there is a recognition of there is a lack of balance between the “Ego and the Higher-Self” which is considered the connection to God or the Higher energy of the Universe. In our world that constantly creates the duality of Good and Bad, the Higher-Self takes on the cloak of Good and the Ego takes on the cloak of Bad. The Ego is often referenced with the need for people to eradicate it, or subdue it in order to live a fulfilling and loving life filled with meaning. However, the Ego is a part of us, if we reject it, we reject our very being and that simply creates inner conflict, a blocking of energy and a darkness that leads away from what we are truly trying to achieve. The Ego was created through many years of training and in it’s truest form it is the subduing of our own uniqueness simply wanting to be expressed.
So after so many years of training and subduing our uniqueness, how do we flip things about and create the space for the energy to flow? First step would be to emotionally connect with the aspect of you that signifies Ego, to get to know and understand, to forgive and to celebrate the many gifts of the Ego and your uniqueness. To then speak of Oneness and to embrace the concept of Ego as being one and allowing your unique expression begin to rise to the surface.
Personally I worked on a prayer, emotion filled with the gratitude of being fully healed. I later went into a meditative state and asked to meet my ego, a Kangaroo appeared. I embraced it in oneness and thanked it, offered love and kindness to it; to me. Whenever I entered that space, over the next time period, I did the same thing, to ensure that I understood what I am about, for the Ego is not separate from who I am and it is a pivotal part of the expression of me that has been repressed.
A few days later I was offering myself an Animal Dreaming Oracle card reading and after the 10 cards were pulled out I was overcome with the need to select another card. It was the ego revealing more of it’s history and belief, and therefor my history and belief. A card with a Kangaroo was selected and the word on the card was Responsibility. This is my key for unlocking the unhealthiness and imbalance in my life. I have from my earliest memories been “The Peace-Maker” of the family and it was my duty, my responsibility to ensure that everyone was happy, that everyone was safe and the everyone’s needs were met, even to the detriment of my own. At times I rebelled, but this twisted my insides and caused me great pain even if I did not reveal it to others.
The revelation allowed me to work on releasing the hyper-responsibility that i felt and brought me to a place of greater Peace where I was able to allow others to step and be responsible for themselves, without taking on their baggage. Have a found the perfect balance? Probably not, but there is greater space for clarity, peace, joy and freedom when you are not responsible for everyone else, you are simply responsible for yourself. I must state that my responsibility of care, nurturing and meeting needs of my children, where they are unable to themselves has not been thrown out. I still recognise the times I need to step up, speak up and do something.
Others I have spoken with revealed that their Ego was about being Nice. No matter what the situation. They had come to realise through years of work that being Nice undermined the uniqueness of their expression and created a space where no one could trust them to be real, no one could get to the truth of what they thought. This burnt them out and created a great distance between them and others, loneliness ensued. Upon creating understanding around this they were able to create personal deep change that unlocked their potential and allowed them to move towards oneness of self.
The unique expression of me is still unfolding. This blog site has been a great part of that journey and those that have been the audience have given the gift of listening to the dark, the light and the in between, the struggle of coming to terms with who I am. Discovering music that I love and am passionate about, an increase in Synchronicity seems to confirm that this is the right direction for me. The state of happiness is real and the slamming of the incredible disasters in the outside world bring about a sense of concern and empathy, but does not detract from the inner light of happiness. The gift of prayer, when felt with emotion, has the power to create a powerful shift. This is what I can do.
If you would care to offer feedback of your own journey, or your understanding of Ego, I would love to hear your voice. Thank-you