Friends Come and Go

Friends come and Go on our Journey here on Earth,
They are forever, even though we disconnect and lose our sight.
I am not wise or knowing, yet connected I am,
To the service of the greater and my friends are in that clan.

Wistful smoke, unhurried it roams
Ever upwards on currents
Exploring without purpose
Life is a bit like that, it requires no force
Wistfully and unhurriedly we can walk this earth.

Friends I have lost still mean the world to me
There influences and Love resonate throughout the universe
Factors inhibit our being together
Forgiveness breaks apart that need and so we move on.

Disorganised and sharpened, the digging is deep,
The inwards thoughts fly high in my mind,
But ever I return to the truth of the deeds,
Hurt feelings and untruths may have permeated the moment of disintegration,
But it need not taint all that went before and after.

I stand here united with all that is supportive
I face each challenge the best that I can
I know this of you to be true within your life
Like me we met for a purpose, each holding a mirror for the other.

If I make sense I am satisfied that I have connected with another,
Confusion may reign, and still I am satisfied that I have spoken.
It is the writing to the universe that holds the key to healing,
Releasing, Letting Go and not needing affirming.

So whilst friends come and go they remain in my heart
Forever they share the warmth of my hearth
The treasure of knowing each one of you is enough
Our life’s purpose may cross but once,
Yet who knows we may see each other yet again.

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A Prayer for this life

Essence of water and light,
Flow through the rivers of my veins,
Enlighten me,
Transform my life,
Allow the ebbs to flow more smoothly,
Effortlessly carry me to a place of consciousness,
Where I can glimpse the existence I am working on,
Show me the price,
Show me the inner beauty that awaits my life.

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Guilt Creeps In…

Celebrating your life, The milestones finally reached,
The depth of commitment, The forward planning and dreams,

All I see is the Freedom, Getting my life back, Returning to my choices,
Recapturing my youth, Embracing romance, Sleeping in till noon.

Guilt rises up, suffocating my delight in you,
Wondering if it’s existence is simply part of my own selfishness!?

Guilt creeps in, an unwanted friend that has been by my side for so long,
Do I begrudge all that I have needed to do to support and care for you?

What is the truth and where does this exist, if at all, in my space?
I am allowed to feel the delight in the anticipation of my child leaving home?

Guilt is the default of the years of being needed, then let go,
It hides the sadness of the loss you know will implode!
The delights you have experienced by being allowed so close to another,
The Love that has connected you simply by being his mother.

So hello Guilt, nice to see you, but I’m busy,
I Love my children and Love to watch them grom into independence.
To hold them back would be of the greatest dis-service,
Instead I send them off with a supportive Love that continues to grow.

Though the near future may see us drifting apart,
We really don’t know where we all be at that time
So with patience and trust I send you Guilt, on your way.
I am here with a Loving heart at one with the happenings that may.

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Life’s Excitement

Unwrapping the many layers of a present,
Delving into the corners of the hidden room,
Seeing the wasted and strewn about paper,
Worthless and without any purpose.

Unhurried or in an un-godly rush,
The paper torn and screwed up and crushed.
Or neatly fold and carefully undone,
Neither matters it all is about to come.

Within the centre is the present,
Unknown and not yet understood…
It rides on the hope of imagination,
Guessed at and shaken into proof.

Does it matter what exists within the core?
Does it define the journey and the thought?
Does it ignite or lessen the Love?
Does it fail or pass the ultimate test?

The excitement of Life is the hope of the present,
The journey the layers to unwrap,
The core gift is our final being, our understanding,
The purpose is truly in the power of the heart.

Be with the experience of action,
Observe the rush, the gentleness, the need,
Kindly wipe away the demanding desire to know right now
And enjoy the gift your life’s excitement is to this world.

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It’s in the EYES

I have waken to the breath of you

I have opened to the magic of you 

I have unearthed to the beauty of you 

I have become smitten with the journey of you

I have been gifted with the presence of you

I have listened to the beat of you

I have danced with the freedom of you

I have wheeled in delight of the awesomeness of you

I have loved walking with you 

I have slept in the presence of you

I have rested in the Peace of you 

I have called wildly in delight with you 

I have put down my bags to be with you 

I have inspiration watching you 

I have trusted in the movement of you

I have unlocked with the heart of you

I have been with the being of you

I have seen the future in the mirror of you 

I have energised with the emotion of you

I have grown in the experience of you

I have not been alone with you 

I belong with you 

I am part of you 

I am the experience of you

I am the uniqueness of you

I am the expression of you

I am the circle of you 

I embrace all of you 

I celebrate all of you 

I am the beginning, end, everlasting you. 

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Understanding Ego

“The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.” Eckhart Tolle

I have been reading a lot and listening to interviews at the Hay House World Summit 2017, particularly Anita Moorjani “Living Heaven on Earth in a Fear Based Culture”; Dr Christiane Northrup “Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Freedom” and Gregg Braden‘s video “The Science of Miracles”. From these wonderful people I have drawn some new understandings of what the Ego is, how it is formed and where we need to look to in the future as a collective. I have shared my understandings with a variety of people and they believe they are worthy of thought and deeper contemplation, so I shall share with you. The uniqueness may not be in the ideas I am sharing, but perhaps in how I am expressing them.

As a child there appears to be no Ego; there are needs that create demands for which the child will simply attempt to gain attention. The child expresses their emotions, their needs, their thoughts without a filter, simply their unique expression of who they are. They play, dress up, dance, sing, interact with an “imaginary world, they are creative and they are gifted.

The family, concerned for their welfare, begins early on the important role of modeling the child so that they can fit into society as a thriving, contributing, accepted member. This involves praise for what is deemed good and acceptable, and negative reinforcement of what is deemed bad and unacceptable. This does not need to be forceful, a raising of an eye-brow, a sigh, or a cold shoulder can be just as effective as a whack or a sending to the room.

The child’s unique expression wants only to be free to express, but is so bombarded by the daily lessons from parents, siblings, friends teachers, peers… that it learns to avoid the negatives by self regulating, creating the voice within to say NO don’t do it. This voice becomes loud to the child’s own ears and the child begins to conform. Through the years the lessons are reinforced through the success of conforming and the setbacks of striking out in unique untested ways. This can often take the form of tall poppy syndrome where friends and loved ones will try to make you conform by undermining your efforts to do things differently.

As a result of these years of training our Ego takes on the form of low energy and in spiritual circles there is a recognition of there is a lack of balance between the “Ego and the Higher-Self” which is considered the connection to God or the Higher energy of the Universe. In our world that constantly creates the duality of Good and Bad, the Higher-Self takes on the cloak of Good and the Ego takes on the cloak of Bad. The Ego is often referenced with the need for people to eradicate it, or subdue it in order to live a fulfilling and loving life filled with meaning. However, the Ego is a part of us, if we reject it, we reject our very being and that simply creates inner conflict, a blocking of energy and a darkness that leads away from what we are truly trying to achieve. The Ego was created through many years of training and in it’s truest form it is the subduing of our own uniqueness simply wanting to be expressed.

So after so many years of training and subduing our uniqueness, how do we flip things about and create the space for the energy to flow? First step would be to emotionally connect with the aspect of you that signifies Ego, to get to know and understand, to forgive and to celebrate the many gifts of the Ego and your uniqueness. To then speak of Oneness and to embrace the concept of Ego as being one and allowing your unique expression begin to rise to the surface.

Personally I worked on a prayer, emotion filled with the gratitude of being fully healed. I later went into a meditative state and asked to meet my ego, a Kangaroo appeared. I embraced it in oneness and thanked it, offered love and kindness to it; to me. Whenever I entered that space, over the next time period, I did the same thing, to ensure that I understood what I am about, for the Ego is not separate from who I am and it is a pivotal part of the expression of me that has been repressed.

A few days later I was offering myself an Animal Dreaming Oracle card reading and after the 10 cards were pulled out I was overcome with the need to select another card. It was the ego revealing more of it’s history and belief, and therefor my history and belief. A card with a Kangaroo was selected and the word on the card was Responsibility. This is my key for unlocking the unhealthiness and imbalance in my life. I have from my earliest memories been “The Peace-Maker” of the family and it was my duty, my responsibility to ensure that everyone was happy, that everyone was safe and the everyone’s needs were met, even to the detriment of my own. At times I rebelled, but this twisted my insides and caused me great pain even if I did not reveal it to others.

The revelation allowed me to work on releasing the hyper-responsibility that i felt and brought me to a place of greater Peace where I was able to allow others to step and be responsible for themselves, without taking on their baggage. Have a found the perfect balance? Probably not, but there is greater space for clarity, peace, joy and freedom when you are not responsible for everyone else, you are simply responsible for yourself. I must state that my responsibility of care, nurturing and meeting needs of my children, where they are unable to themselves has not been thrown out. I still recognise the times I need to step up, speak up and do something.

Others I have spoken with revealed that their Ego was about being Nice. No matter what the situation. They had come to realise through years of work that being Nice undermined the uniqueness of their expression and created a space where no one could trust them to be real, no one could get to the truth of what they thought. This burnt them out and created a great distance between them and others, loneliness ensued. Upon creating understanding around this they were able to create personal deep change that unlocked their potential and allowed them to move towards oneness of self.

The unique expression of me is still unfolding. This blog site has been a great part of that journey and those that have been the audience have given the gift of listening to the dark, the light and the in between, the struggle of coming to terms with who I am. Discovering music that I love and am passionate about, an increase in Synchronicity seems to confirm that this is the right direction for me. The state of happiness is real and the slamming of the incredible disasters in the outside world bring about a sense of concern and empathy, but does not detract from the inner light of happiness. The gift of prayer, when felt with emotion, has the power to create a powerful shift. This is what I can do.

If you would care to offer feedback of your own journey, or your understanding of Ego, I would love to hear your voice.  Thank-you

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Peace is the flow of energy, moving within every being, 

Endless it cycles from the Earth,  through the Heart and then returned. 

Peace is ever present in every conflict,  never hidden,  simply flowing, 

Peace is the knowing of who we are,  and that Truth of us is growing. 

Peace,  Peace, ever present Peace xx

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Who am I? 

I am the energy of Love,  spilling over the waterfalls edge. 

I am the energy of Transformation,  shedding the shackles of self imprisonment. 

I am the energy of deep knowing Wisdom,  layered through the wind of time. 

I am the energy of the Strength of humanity,  creating the Peace of our time. 

I am the energy of the endless  inner journey,  that reveals the unravelling dimensions. 

I am the energy of Magic,  with astounding twisting and turning. 

I am the knowing that was is to come is already written with deep Love in the stars. 

I am fearless and Living,  I am choosing this life. 

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Lying here,
TV glaring,
Noise reverberating,
Warmth emenating
Cat and Dog sleeping,
Space opening,
Brain fogging,
Ears quietenning,
Heart beating,
Anxiety gaining,
Gently breathing,
Open dreaming,
Sunshine beaming,
Waves crashing,
Sand squeaking,
Laughter rolling,
Love deepening.

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Resolute she stands
Knowing her purpose is unfolding
Trusting the inspiration revealing
Allowing the energy flowing

Resolute she stands
Wisdom surrounding
Heart steadily beating
Awareness constantly growing

Resolute she stands
Hands made for healing
Arms made for caring
Shoulders made for carrying

Resolute she stands
In her beauty and oneness
Surrounded by her family
Radiating with Love

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